Another City

 

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The plane landed in the Incheon International Airport, but I did not feel as if I had yet arrived in a new location. I got out and took a bus to the city of Seoul. Inside the bus, there were people speaking Korean, and I soon fell asleep. I woke and I took a look outside, at the Korean lettering on the store signs. They seemed familiar but foreign. I reached my destination, got off the bus and looked at the wide structured roads full of cars which were not the alleyways of Taipei. I tried not to let my tears overflow as children walked past.

Another city with its own personality and people has gone by already. In the short five months there had been many experiences that built bonds between me and Taipei. I left pieces of myself there, in the alleyways and streets where motorcycles motored by. I left pieces of myself in the people I met as well, although I know beautiful friendships slowly disintegrate with time. I feel as I left less than whole, the price I had to pay for a life in Taiwan.

Will I continue to go leaving pieces of myself in the future like this? I still feel restless, wanting to go to new places to see new things with nice companions. I want to embrace the world and know it. At the same time, I want to return to the places where I left pieces of me, perhaps to try to collect them to make myself feel more whole. What a process this is, being fuelled by the glimmer of a future with distant locations while continually reminiscing of a golden past.

Where will the future take me? Will I find somewhere suitable to settle down? What will happen to my memories, as I lose contact of the familiar? Without the continual reinforcement of my external environment, my memories will quickly fade. Many dreams have past, leaving disappearing residues. The past disappears and leaves me without a sense of belonging.

But I’m only 22 years into my life, so maybe there is no use in thinking so much about this when I have just exited the gate. I still have long ways to go before the end of the race. Perhaps memories do not disappear, they just hide below the surface, waiting for the right occasion to come up and impart warm memories. Instead of losing pieces of myself, perhaps I give and take to create a different whole.

3 thoughts on “Another City”

  1. Kevin the sentence,I know beautiful friendships slowly disintegrate with time,is pretty sad….. :(

  2. late feedback is coming :D
    hey sorry so late to leave the feedback. i was busy these days.
    i’d leave it in chinese. i know it’d be hard for u, but i hope it can improve your chinese. cc.
    if there’s anything u cant understand, i can help u.
    (ps at first i thought ur blog was diary about jeju island cuz of the name lol)

    我剛回台灣時讀了一本書,書中句子至今仍烙印在心。
    書上道:「一回相見一回老,當年太年輕,不懂緣起緣滅。」
    當時的我閱畢已是淚流滿面,卻只下了一行註解:「這年仍年輕,聚散離合已嚐透。」
    同你,今年我二十二歲,去過幾個國家,踏過幾些都市,有些是旅行,有些是生活。
    儘管歲月仍不停輪轉,每當翻著電腦中的陳年舊照才明白,原來那些我以為已淡忘的記憶仍是如此鮮活,色彩斑斕得如同幻燈片一幕幕閃過眼前。
    這些點點滴滴,即使不過佔了生命極短的歲月,即使深埋於心內一隅,雖已漸漸泛黃,我在那裡所遇的每個笑聲,每滴淚水,每束陽光,每朵雲彩,若涓涓溪流,輕輕流過我心坎,仍是深深觸動著我。
    但是回憶永遠是惆悵的,愉快的使人覺得,可惜已經完了,不愉快的想起來還是傷心。
    我有個很好的朋友,他今年二十一歲,人生有一半是旅外生活,為了跟著世界到處做生意的父親,他總是在一個國家待了幾年,或是幾個月,而後離開了剛留下感情的城市。
    「雖然走過這麼多地方也是我人生目標之一,但悲傷的是總是要和朋友離別,不論感情與友情似乎都無法長久。」他這麼說。
    當時的我想了一想,偷偷抹著眼淚說:「可是連我也要跟你道別了呢。」
    「不論未來我們何時再見,至少,此刻在一起的回憶是無人能取代的。」他道。
    儘管我們各自歸位了,儘管我們又各自於世界一角流浪,屬於某個人的回憶,屬於某個城市的記憶,卻是不會褪色的,只要當你憶起。
    我時常想,總是漂泊的旅人吶,何時能駐足,何處能安身?冥冥之中,是否有什麼在前方牽引著我們前進呢?
    路途的兩旁風景,倒也是沉默腦後了,又是什麼能使我回眸呢?
    縱使我身心俱疲,臉龐又紋了幾許風霜,縱使掩不了無止盡的悲涼,仍是流著淚選擇繼續漂泊,繼續遇見新的人事物,但舊情舊物,我卻不曾或忘,一刻也不曾。
    因為我相信緣分。
    緣即如風,來也是緣,去也是緣。已得是緣,未得亦是緣。
    若不是緣,我何德何能,能與你在靜靜的羊腸路上碰頭?
    緣起緣滅,緣聚緣散,漫漫紅塵,風雨人生,不同的人陪我走過一程又一程。物換星移後,也許城市依然保有他的輪廓,也許人去樓空,曾一起創造回憶的彼此,心內卻已是容得下浩瀚海洋。
    即使你我成為了彼此的過客,夏季薰風襲來,吹醒我於舊夢中的情懷,如此的緣聚與邂逅,彷彿皆是心坎那淙淙溪水,輕淺流過了我的人生。
    著名作家張愛玲曾言:「於千萬人之中遇見你所要遇見的人,於千萬年之中,時間的無涯的荒野裡,沒有早一步,也沒有晚一步,剛巧趕上了,沒有別的話可說,惟有輕輕得問一聲,噢,你也在這裡?」
    人閒桂花落,夜靜春山空。縱然悲歡離合,我仍會再做這般決定,決定放逐自我,漂泊四處,而後再遇見新的人事,再用鮮明的顏料繪製我的旅程。
    也許某年某月在某處,我也能沒有早一步,也沒有晚一步,沒有別的話可說,惟有輕輕地問一聲:「噢,你也在這裡?」
    而你,便是我回眸駐足的理由。

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